When your little one cries out in the night, it’s easy to assume they’ve had a nightmare, but sometimes, it’s something else entirely. Nightmares and night terrors are often confused, but they’re quite different in how they present and how they should be handled.
Nightmares
Why they happen
Most little ones have nightmares from time to time, but children aged 2 to 4 are particularly prone. This is an age when their imagination flourishes and normal fears start to develop.
Nightmares can be triggered by all sorts of things – anything from starting toilet training to moving to a big bed, adjusting to changes at nursery or school, or welcoming a new sibling. Your little one’s bad dreams could even stem from stories that seem harmless to you but are scary to them, from exciting or stressful experiences before bed, or simply from anxiety.
Nightmares are a normal part of development. As children start to process more complex feelings and fears, dreaming is one of the ways they work through those emotions.
How to know if it’s a nightmare
If your little one wakes up crying or scared, seeks comfort, and struggles to go back to sleep, it’s likely they had a nightmare. These dreams usually happen during the second half of the night (when dreaming is more frequent), and your child will likely remember it the next morning.
Preventing nightmares
- Keep daily stress low and ensure they’re getting enough sleep.
- Stick to a calm, predictable bedtime routine: a warm bath, a gentle and positive story, and a cosy environment with a soft night-light can all help.
- Consider talking positively about dreams and even discussing nightmares as something normal and manageable.
How to help after a nightmare
Go to your little one when they cry out. Offer physical reassurance – a cuddle, a gentle hand, soothing words -until they feel safe. Try to stay in their room rather than bringing them to yours, as this can help avoid starting habits that are hard to undo later.
Let them talk about the dream if they want to, but don’t press them. Remind them it was just a dream, and reassure them they’re safe. At this age, they can usually understand the difference between dreams and reality, but the emotions can still feel very real, so patience and understanding go a long way.
Night terrors
Why they happen
Night terrors are not nightmares, but rather a type of sleep disruption that occurs during non-REM sleep (the deeper part of the sleep cycle). Essentially, your little one gets ‘stuck’ between two sleep stages.
They usually happen 2-3 hours after your little one falls asleep, right when their body is transitioning from deep non-REM sleep to lighter REM sleep. Instead of moving smoothly between stages, something goes wrong and they experience intense distress, even though they’re not fully awake.
What they look like
During a night terror, a child may:
- Sit bolt upright in bed
- Cry or scream
- Breathe quickly
- Thrash about
- Run around the room
- Have open eyes but not seem fully awake
The episode usually lasts a few minutes, after which they calm down and return to sleep on their own. In the morning, they likely won’t remember anything at all. Night terrors are relatively rare (affecting only around 3% of children) and tend to appear between the ages of 3 and 12. They’re slightly more common in boys but can affect any child.
How to know if it’s a night terror
If your little one is distressed, seems unaware of your presence, doesn’t respond to comfort, and goes back to sleep without remembering the event, it’s probably a night terror. These typically happen in the first part of the night, unlike nightmares which occur later.
Preventing night terrors
There’s no medical treatment for night terrors, but you can reduce the likelihood of them happening by:
- Reducing stress during the day
- Keeping a consistent, calming bedtime routine
- Ensuring your child gets enough sleep and isn’t overtired
How to help during a night terror
As difficult as it is to witness, try not to wake your child. Instead, stay close, ensure they’re safe (especially if they’re moving around), and wait with them until the episode ends. Most children return to sleep naturally and don’t need intervention.
Understanding night terrors can help ease your worries. But if they start happening frequently, especially more than once a night, it might be worth speaking with your GP or getting a referral to a paediatric sleep specialist.
If you’re struggling with your little one’s sleep, whether it’s nightmares, night terrors, or something else, please get in touch for a free 15-minute consultation. We’d love to help you and your child get better sleep.
